Over-compensating

I'm having difficulty understanding a few things about love. This crazy emotion obviously makes otherwise normal people act like idiots. This isn't a bad thing; it's an awesome state to be in. Love it (pun intended).

There has been a resurgence, I think, of accepted PDA. I'm not just talking about making out in the street or holding hands. That's still relatively tame.

I'm talking about the plague of facebook, AIM, MSN, Skype, Twitter, and other internet-based examples of public affection. It's not enough that straight and gay people alike are in love and happy; they have to show the rest of us how happy they are.

My straight friend, Pookie (a name his girlfriend gave him - not me), is dating a girl named "Schnookie." I'm pretty sure her name is actually Emily or Elizabeth, but "Schnookie" is all I've ever known her as. For all I know, it's on her birth certificate. The future Mr. and Mrs. Pookie.


I compare it to a similar rise in design-cakes. I don't know how this fad came about, but apparently having a regular cake wasn't good enough. Also, this is a much bigger market (so I'm told) than I thought. Chefs actually attend culinary school for the sole purpose of becoming cake designers, knowing that idiots-in-love will drop any amount on a cake in the shape of the Chrysler building.

It's no long enough to be simply over the top with your confections, nor your affections. They have to be completely out there and outlandish, where everyone can see them. We (everybody else) are to remark at how happy you are and agree with you.


Attention couples! Important news, and I have this on good authority from the single-world: We don't fucking care.

Your happiness is awesome, but please... some of you couples are giving the rest of us diabetes with your relationship. My throat is closing up. I'm having an asthma attack.

Keep it to yourself, kthxbai.

Post-split II: Steps to recovery

Ladies, listen up - take it from the master:

When you do depression or have regular sad days (which are more frequent in the North now that the Sun is barely up at all), do it right. Take this - part two to theKnow-it-all guide to getting over him/her/it:

1. First, put down the spoon and step away from the Haagen-Dazs. Frozen yogurt, carrot sticks, pretzels (watch the salt)... all these are better for you. Now that you're alone, you'll probably want to be skinny. No one likes a fatty, and by now, there's a good chance that you are one.

2. Second, this is the perfect time for an eating disorder. Going to the gym is time consuming, and you need all the hours you can to sit home and cry. Cry a lot - it's good for you. Since you won't be going to the gym, and as even frozen yogurt can go straight to your hips, purge frequently.

P.s. Pro-tip: Use Febreze in the bathroom after to freshen.

3. Finally, for now, spend a lot of time by yourself. Some say use other people as healthy distractions from your pain, but if you're like me, you probably got yourself into trouble by being too friendly with people anyway.

Try wallowing in your misery for a while. This will not only give you lots of time to think about what you did (like a child's time-out!), but it will probably make you sad enough to really do step two well enough. Pair sadness with purging - match made in heaven.


That's all for now - try my proven method of getting over men. It worked for me - I shed even more weight after I lost my guy than before I did. You can even see my ribs - fun!

Good luck, ladies/gentleman/undecided, and happy binge-purging!

Banilla-nilla

Awesome -- I'm not kidding - this "Banilla" yogurt by Stonyfield Farm is awesome. Especially with granola. This is a huge amount of awesome in my mouth. Best thing to be in there in a while (giggity).

Go buy it now. Don't question it - just do it.

(( You can tell that I have nothing better going on in my life when I am forced to write about yogurt. Not only that... but I'm making sexual jokes... about yogurt. Ugh! ))

Disorderly eating?

I think I have a problem with eating (don't read as "eating disorder"). To be clear from the beginning, I absolutely love food. Love it, love it, love it. Food and me get along well together.

During the week, however, I just... don't eat. It's not that I don't want to. I just forget. On a day like today, between getting up right before class, being in class, and doing homework later, it's no wonder that I could easily get up tomorrow and remember that I haven't eaten since Sunday.

*ick* My body must be so confused. I keep alternating between binge-eating my emotions and starving myself accidentally for days.

Can't be healthy - I think I'm going to go eat a cracker or two. Perhaps a little water.

Blue-burry Cobbl'a!

Newcomer gay -- Guy, seriously... this is the easiest thing to make ever. It's only a matter of time before you can buy this stuff in a box ready-to-go.

Put the ingredients as stated in bowls and mix. Put blueberries in pan. Put biscuit batter over it in chunks (do not spread). Bake for a half-hour.

Enjoy: Sample recipe here!



Note: This recipe calls for cornstarch and baking the blueberries for a little first. The cornstarch is a great idea as, without it, your cobbler will be more blueberry soup. As a rule, corn starch will harden the filling. Do NOT use too much as then you'll get a chalky, crappy interior like a blue brick.

The pre-baking of the berries before adding the batter might de-flavor the blueberries, but it makes them delightfully crisp. Use at your discretion. I would probably reduce that from 25 minutes to 10 at max. Flavor first, kids!