So cute

This is my new feel-good video of the month. It's so cute - I can't even get over it. Whenever I am down, I shall simply watch this and feel infinitely better :D



I feel like Ellen would either be an awesome human being to know... or she'd be a raging bitch. I'm almost sure it's the latter; no one can be that nice and funny all the time.

Over-compensating

I'm having difficulty understanding a few things about love. This crazy emotion obviously makes otherwise normal people act like idiots. This isn't a bad thing; it's an awesome state to be in. Love it (pun intended).

There has been a resurgence, I think, of accepted PDA. I'm not just talking about making out in the street or holding hands. That's still relatively tame.

I'm talking about the plague of facebook, AIM, MSN, Skype, Twitter, and other internet-based examples of public affection. It's not enough that straight and gay people alike are in love and happy; they have to show the rest of us how happy they are.

My straight friend, Pookie (a name his girlfriend gave him - not me), is dating a girl named "Schnookie." I'm pretty sure her name is actually Emily or Elizabeth, but "Schnookie" is all I've ever known her as. For all I know, it's on her birth certificate. The future Mr. and Mrs. Pookie.


I compare it to a similar rise in design-cakes. I don't know how this fad came about, but apparently having a regular cake wasn't good enough. Also, this is a much bigger market (so I'm told) than I thought. Chefs actually attend culinary school for the sole purpose of becoming cake designers, knowing that idiots-in-love will drop any amount on a cake in the shape of the Chrysler building.

It's no long enough to be simply over the top with your confections, nor your affections. They have to be completely out there and outlandish, where everyone can see them. We (everybody else) are to remark at how happy you are and agree with you.


Attention couples! Important news, and I have this on good authority from the single-world: We don't fucking care.

Your happiness is awesome, but please... some of you couples are giving the rest of us diabetes with your relationship. My throat is closing up. I'm having an asthma attack.

Keep it to yourself, kthxbai.

Hags, not rags

I have struck gay-gold.

Last week, I appropriated a new hag into my circle of women. Not only is she stylish and sassy (always requirements), but she is loaded. Seriously - this bitch gets $7,000 a month for personal expense NOT including rent, food, and tuition for college. That's $7,000 in shopping money.

This is great because now when I go shopping with her, I can put her in fantastically expensive clothes that she will actually buy. We had a mini-gasm together in Manolo Blahnik earlier today. She bought Dolce instead, but the power-trip is awesome.

She's not Kitty, by any stretch of the imagination... but she's wealthy and a shopaholic. Like those poor shop girls in the mall, I'm just happy that she carries Daddy's plastic.

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Side note: She was going to try to set me up with a gay of hers today. I don't really want to meet him because I'm terrified of him. The guy's a male model and a Mexican heir(ess). I hate the idea of dating someone with money; it's always be an awkward elephant in the room.

I've also been told he's a snob. And he's not out to his parents. Really? Shit - I can't do diva AND closet-case.

How dry is she?

Would-be Chinese bride, 107, seeks first husband

BEIJING (Reuters) – A 107-year-old Chinese woman who was afraid to marry when she was young has decided to look for her first husband and hopes to find a fellow centenarian so they will have something to talk about, a Chinese paper reported.

Wang Guiying is worried she is becoming a burden to her ageing nieces and nephews since breaking her leg when she was 102 and had to stop doing chores like washing her clothes.

"I'm already 107 and I still haven't got married," the Chongqing Commercial Times quoted her saying. "What will happen if I don't hurry up and find a husband?"

I'm glad to see that mankind's obsession with getting married isn't just an American thing - even southeast Asian countries have this Victorian fascination with saying vows.

That said, I think that's adorable. I wonder if she's still a virgin... a really old, crusty virgin.
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Love-life update (brief): Had my date with FitRec, and that was good. Providence went abroad for research purposes until the end of January.

Mystery is good, and we have absolutely no definition. I fell out of contact with Numbers when I came back from DC. Visor has called often, but I don't know if I want to call him back.

(( For those of you keeping score at home, anyone in bold in the above update is a person's pseudonym. ))

Fucking friends

God, Sean is pissing me off.

For someone that has spent so much time supposedly (his words, not mine) trying to move past the fact that we used to hook up, he has a funny way of getting ticked off about it still.

I've gotten the vibe from him that we can't ever be friends - he's cold when we talk online, he was cold when we went to the club, and he was cold when we were at his house/in my car. He's just... cold.

I guess he doesn't want to know me anymore. So I suppose fine - I won't push it. I'll give him three days to change his fucking attitude, and then I'm unfriending him on facebook and removing his screenname from my buddy list.

I don't need to deal with people's shit, especially when I'm making an effort to be his bud.

Sex isn't supposed to ruin everything, tard.

Date and dramatic rumblings

The New Year is off to a great start, I guess. One the one hand, I have a date tomorrow with that boy from the club at 1PM in Dupont Circle. On the other hand, I keep thinking that what Rainman says is right - maybe I am a huge slut. It is pretty early to be going out on dates with people so close to our break-up last October.

Then again, I'm not dating him for the rest of my life - it's just a fun date. I will admit that aside from that fact that he's wicked hot, most of why I want to go on this date is to be able to say that I've met men in clubs. It's an experience.

Plus, I can blog about it later ;-)



The drama is that my mother said earlier today that she doesn't like Rainman as much anymore, which makes me really sad. It's understandable, though she always likes my friends. Apparently, she doesn't like him because he broke my heart.

I feel bad because I didn't tell her the real reason why we split (my infidelity), so her hate is wrongly placed. But at least she knows and I don't have to fake a happy Stepford relationship when she and my father ask about it later.



Fuck it - I'm not going to let my mind ruin my date tomorrow. Rainman is still in my life, and that's the best I can hope to get right now. Plus... the club-boy is soooooo hot.

Too soon? Uh uh!

Anna Nicole Smith - I miss her... she was so batsh*t crazy in her day. Many thanks to the swarthy gentlemen (heh) who reminded me of this.

Newcomer gays, give respect where it is due. This woman defined an era (the late nineties) as a woman who defined the odds, thus paving the way for millions of girls to sell their bodies for money and grow up to be whores. She is the American dream - she saw something she wanted (which definitely wasn't her late husband), and she got it.

Her struggle in court for her husband's money was spectacular. All should note that she was wronged by not receiving the Emmy that year for Best Performance in a Trial when her greedy in laws tried to take back her hard earned money.

She made it okay to be insane, to lose weight on the revolutionary Trimspa/crack diet, and to make money by whatever means necessary. Every slut with her ankles in the air owes this pioneer a debt of gratitude.

Honey, here and now, I salute her for outstanding contributions to moral society in this country. God speed, kiddo.

A rock and an unsure place

This emo post is brought to you, in part, by Viewers like You. Thank you.

So I find myself in an interesting situation. On the one hand, I've been trying to go on dates again and try to make the best of a bad situation following my break-up with the Ex. On the other hand, there are some individuals (namely the Ex) who don't agree with that method. While I would tell any other queen who criticized me to fuck off, I can't because the Ex is actually someone whose opinion I respect. Plus, he's probably right.

My problem now is trying to communicate to the Ex that I am still waiting for him to make his move. What he can't understand is just how unsatisfying these dates with other men have been. After a spectacular relationship (up until its rough ending), I'm looking for a connection as profound as the one we had. If I'm lucky, I'll eventually find half such a "spark."

Despite how hard these other guys try and all the encouragement from my friends (especially A, who is all-in-favor of it), whenever I'm on dates with other people, I grow increasingly aware of how unlike the Ex they really are. And as such, they are immediately inferior.


So here's the rub - everyone is telling me that I should go out and date again to try to get over him (which I apparently am not), while I know myself that I should wait for him in the off-chance that we can patch this up.

It's a fight between the rational and the romantic. Despite how much I fucked up and how much I'm sure it's killing him... I am still holding out for the small, small chance that he'll forgive and come back to me.

*sigh*




Update: I canceled my date with Emerson-boy. And I'm going to let B go now. I just... can't give them all the attention that a normal date would deserve.

Hail the Queen

Her Majesty, Hope Lincoln, rises again! And look at that fucking dress. (Side note for next time: bring a coat for the walk home).

The Wizard of the Wtf?

I met another child today that had never seen The Wizard of Oz.

Really, people? Really? That makes him the third gay I know that has never seen that movie. Between Judy Garland and the oddly homosexual tin-man, I'm surprised at you people.

I think it says something about our generation when we know more lines/songs from Wicked (which I have seen) than this 1939 classic. Get it straight, kids: sometimes gay-culture > pop culture.

Go out, right now, and rent/buy/worship this movie.

Seriously... why the fuck are you still reading this post. Get off your asses and go to the video store. *face-to-desk*





Random bit of trivia: For those good-gays that have seen it already and don't need to go buy a copy of the movie, did you know that the horses in Emerald City palace were painted with Jell-O powder? They had to shoot the scenes quickly before the color got licked off.

Other bits of trivia: "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" was almost cut from the movie, even though it's an unofficial gay national anthem today. And the dog, Toto, was paid nearly twice as much as the munchkin actors.

More here: Read and be enriched.

Drag Update #2

I bought these shoes the other day with two hags. If anything, I needed a big day out with the girls, so as said before, we went to CambridgeSide Galleria to shop.

After drinking everything in the house (and I mean this literally) for a day or two, then supplementing it with eating all the candy and greasy food in the fridge/pantry, I've decided to shop my feelings, instead of eating them.

All this has done, however, is left me drunk, fat, and poor...



... with fabulous shoes on top, however. Never worn a four-inch heel, so much practice is needed so I don't fall off the stage at the Drag Ball in a few weeks.

Audrey's got a funny face

Beginner gay -- Funny Face is a very excellent and fairly well-known Audrey film that... everyone forgets about.

It's not as fresh as Roman Holiday, not as quirky as Breakfast at Tiffany's, or as zany as My Fair Lady, but it is simply amazing. The colors, the songs, the dancing - it's wonderful. Audrey plays opposite of Fred Astaire, and they are great.

If you don't like musicals, dancing, colors, and fabulous fashions... then you are probably not gay. Otherwise, add this to your Netflix or shopping list immediately, kids. It's a wonderful movie for the beginner-gay.