Hags, not rags

I have struck gay-gold.

Last week, I appropriated a new hag into my circle of women. Not only is she stylish and sassy (always requirements), but she is loaded. Seriously - this bitch gets $7,000 a month for personal expense NOT including rent, food, and tuition for college. That's $7,000 in shopping money.

This is great because now when I go shopping with her, I can put her in fantastically expensive clothes that she will actually buy. We had a mini-gasm together in Manolo Blahnik earlier today. She bought Dolce instead, but the power-trip is awesome.

She's not Kitty, by any stretch of the imagination... but she's wealthy and a shopaholic. Like those poor shop girls in the mall, I'm just happy that she carries Daddy's plastic.

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Side note: She was going to try to set me up with a gay of hers today. I don't really want to meet him because I'm terrified of him. The guy's a male model and a Mexican heir(ess). I hate the idea of dating someone with money; it's always be an awkward elephant in the room.

I've also been told he's a snob. And he's not out to his parents. Really? Shit - I can't do diva AND closet-case.

Ring in the new year - choo choo

This is how people should say, "Hello" to the New Year... useless crap!

I saw this while my younger sister was watching Cartoon Network. Apparently they also know what a stupid product it is. "Buy my product! Buy my product! It's lame - but buy my product! Trains! Ahhhhh!"

... honestly. Looped videos of trains driving by. *ugh*

"Black Friday" is not PC

One thing I can't stand these days - how everything suddenly exploded with Christmas. I'm not such a huge fan of religion these days (at least not organized), but even I think Christmas is offensive at times. It's getting to the point where stores are just obnoxious.

The only benefit this holiday has for me is that my mother and I observe Black Friday. For those of you that don't know (why don't you?), Black Friday is probably your biggest shopping day of the year. Or it should be. On this day - the Friday after Thanksgiving - stores have huge sales. Doorbusters (meaning sales that start at 3AM or so), clearance sales (50%+ markdown), etc. Shopping is awesome on this day - you should observe it too.

Every year, my mother and I snub other holidays. Halloween is lame, we prefer Korean food on Thanksgiving, and no one really observes the 4th of July or Valentines Day in our house. But on holiday we do well is Black Friday. We like to (cutely?) refer to it as a day-long date.

We usually start off at 12AM at the local outlet mall which opens at midnight, shop there until 9AM, hit the department stores and malls until 2 or 3PM, and do big warehouse stores like Target, Walmart, Kohls, etc. until we get tired (6 or 7PM). It's an intense day of shopping, and we love it. Anywhere from 15-20 hours of work.

It's the only reason I'm going home for the Thanksgiving and not staying in Boston. I love to shop, and my mother and I really bond over the half-off bin at Victoria's Secret.

... and still, every year, she remarks at least once during Black Friday that she has no idea how I became a homosexual. I usually just say "Dunno, mom!"

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And for your viewing pleasure - one of few countries to out-Scrooge us with commercialism... hits a snag this year:

Country faces Santa shortage
By Josie Cox Josie Cox – Mon Nov 24, 12:28 pm ET - Yahoo! News

BERLIN (Reuters) – Wanted: Cheerful, chubby men, preferably with fluffy white beards and no criminal record, ready to work hard for one month.

Germany is running out of qualified Santa Clauses and needs to recruit and train them fast, a leading job agency says.

Germans are trying to shut out the financial crisis by taking comfort in traditional festivities, and there is an acute shortage of Santas to entertain children at shopping centers, Christmas markets and private parties.

"Being Santa is not an easy job," Jens Wittenberger, in charge of Santa Claus recruitment at the Jobcafe Munich, told Reuters Monday. "To be honest, not many people have what it takes to be a good Father Christmas."

Drag Update #2

I bought these shoes the other day with two hags. If anything, I needed a big day out with the girls, so as said before, we went to CambridgeSide Galleria to shop.

After drinking everything in the house (and I mean this literally) for a day or two, then supplementing it with eating all the candy and greasy food in the fridge/pantry, I've decided to shop my feelings, instead of eating them.

All this has done, however, is left me drunk, fat, and poor...



... with fabulous shoes on top, however. Never worn a four-inch heel, so much practice is needed so I don't fall off the stage at the Drag Ball in a few weeks.