So, what's your fantasy?

Yesterday in the barber shop, while I was being silent and mysterious, the guys sitting next to me were discussing this thing called, "fantasy football." Of course, I initially thought they meant those pay-per-view alternative Superbowl games where cheerleaders play touch football in chocolate pudding, or something like that.

I looked it up our of curiosity, and this is what I found on Wikipedia:

Fantasy football is a fantasy sports game in which participants (called "owners") are arranged into a league. The person who creates the league is called the commissioner, and that person invites other owners into his/her league.

Each team drafts or acquires via auction a team of real-life American football players and then scores points based on those players' statistical on-the-field performances.

A typical fantasy league will employ players from a single football league, such as the NFL or an NCAA division. Leagues can be arranged in which the winner is the team with the most total points at the end of the season, or in a head-to-head format (which mirrors the actual NFL) in which each team plays against a single opponent each week.

At the end of the year, win-loss records determine league rankings or qualification into a playoff bracket. Most leagues set aside the last weeks of the regular season for their own playoffs.

So as far as I can gather, it's like socially acceptable Dungeons and Dragons. For those gays in the audience that aren't familiar with either game, don't worry. You don't have to be.

I can't picture a group of muscular straight men huddling around a table and playing a sports version of Magic: The Gathering (another game you don't need to know about if you don't already).

Why do I bring this up on Homo Knows today? I do it to ensure that none of you succumb to this. New gay, old gay - even straight; it doesn't matter. You should never play these types of retarded games. You want to have a fun Saturday night? Try a dance club, a bar, the opera, a museum, a coffee shop or...

... dare I say it? A date.




Edit: To our readers from other countries (not the United States), I want to clarify: when we say "football," we don't mean soccer. Think gorillas in spandex running into each other... a lot.