Life changes

Well, here I am again to make an addendum to my New Year's Resolutions. My initial decision was to be less selfish - to give more to other people. It's too vague, though, so I offer an amendment:

Be less selfish, but fix my life again.

I realized that my cavalier attitude toward sex has surpassed even Samantha Jones. Once might even call it an addiction. In the past couple months, I've gotten my share of sex. And the only person it failed to please was me.

I'm sure all my former-church friends are going, "See! Told you it wouldn't be satisfying!" Those people are retarded, and they are missing the point. Sex is awesome, and I will never, ever give it up. I love who I am, kthxbai.

At what cost, however, have I become this overly sexual libertine? Well, from what I can tell (and given my past few dates), it's all been at the cost of romance.

Take my situation with FitRec. He's a genuinely romantic person (albeit one I wouldn't want to date). But because I was so interested in the sex, I only realized we weren't compatible at all only AFTER we screwed.

That's not a good way to date.


So I'm going to violate my own rule ("Always have sex on the first date") and shun my attitudes ("Sex is just sex - fuck emotions"). It's time I committed to the person that I should really be happy with - myself. And maybe a few cute sex-less dates on the way.



P.s. Rainman and I have been texting. This is baaaaaad for me, but I can't stop myself. I'm such a masochist - I don't think we've ever spoken where I didn't feel the sudden urge to go home and swallow everything in the medicine cabinet.

I don't know what to do there.